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What: Carolina Larrikins' 2nd Anal Red Dress Run

Pre-Lube/Circle Up!: I could tell you that Red Dress began at 2PM on Saturday May 24th, but that would be a lie. Sure, that's when TRAIL started, but it's not just about trail, is it? No, the happenings of Red Dress really began on the beautiful Friday evening before, when our amazing visitors started arriving at their various crash houses. Whispers speak of an all night bender perpetrated by Dead Woody, Osama Bin Hashing and the rest of their motley crew. Supposedly Sesame Creep got knocked the fuck out, but that's what happens when it's Friday, you ain't go no job nor shit to do.

Fast forward to Saturday; T-2 hours from circle and pre-lubes were beginning in earnest. The delegation from Tidewater had landed in Raleigh and settled at the Tir Na Nog bar for some much needed food and liver stretching. Others were reportedly at Briggs inhaling their weight in breakfast food, because that's what you do at Briggs. Elsewhere chickens were sacrificed, bodies were painted, swords were sharpened. Local area hashers, awash with excitement, were also beginning to appear on the scene. Plates were devoured, beers drained, and everyone was psyched and ready to head over to Start.

Late in the Fall of 2013, Larrikin's Intelligence received reliable reports that one of the owners of the London Bridge Pub was a named hasher. After sending our seasoned diplomats to investigate and make contact, we realized we had the perfect location for Red Dress. Last Chance (the owner) graciously welcomed us with open arms, provided some beer (for all the hashers), and let us basically run amok. After taking your money and herding you all out back, we held Opening Circle and gave out free legal advice! Introductions aside, it was time to hit the pavement.

Trail: Immediately out of the gate, the pack was greeted with two trails; walkers and runners! Thanks hares! Runners went and did running things, and the walkers went around the corner to our first bar, Paddy O Beers. "Bar" in this instance is a technical term because it had the standing room of a postage stamp. But they had beer! We bought a few cases of the good stuff and handed them out, while the muggles going by on Fayetteville St gawked at us.

Next, trail took us across town to Glenwood South where the pack descended on Lucky B's like a biblical plague. No really, the only thing we were missing was Flight of the Valkyries. Some wankers commandeered the over-sized pong game outside, and began playing some sort of militarized dodge-ball while at the same time scaring off the chodes who were playing cornhole behind them. Some other patron was having a catered birthday party, so of course we convinced them to share their food with us, and we rewarded him with a singing of Hashy Birthday. There was even a very good discussion on the socio-economic implications of Latin American laborers mixing concrete on a Saturday afternoon and it's impact on marijuana consumption. Good times for all.

After prying your beers from your almost cold dead lips, we were next on up Glenwood and across Hillsborough Street where we arrived at Boylan Bridge Brew Pub! Talk about scaring the white people, these folks had eyes as wide as your mom. Once they realized we weren't there for their women, they calmed down a little. Beer was enjoyed, Custard was hit in the nuts with a shiny pole, Osama's ass crack was analyzed, pictures were taken. Overall a good stop.

Our final stop on the way back in was at The Berkley, and the pack needed every seat. Stragglers caught up as most of us enjoyed a tasty beverage and gave the legs a rest. Some folks enjoyed a smoke out front, we sang a song, girls made out with other girls. Mission accomplished.

As we were inbound to closing circle, there was sex on trail of which we got photographic evidence. Congrats to all involved parties, make sure you get your patches! We also ran through an Anime convention, and for once we weren't the weirdest dressed people on the street. Slowly we crawled over the land until we arrived at Lincoln Theatre, where we were greeted by a bunch of teenage groupies waiting outside for a show by Neon Trees, a band no one born in the 20th century has ever heard of. So of course Dood Where's My Car knew them and was excited.

And then there was circle.

Trail: On-After was back at London Bridge, and most of our attendees were able to make it. Pizza was ordered and quickly destroyed, Last Chance bought us shots of something that tasted like burning, and there was a liquor watermelon that was cracked open and devoured. Some lucky drunk girl from Tidewater caught a finger or two from Snail Trail and felt a lot better afterward. Toe tags were distributed, beers were raised, the Gods were praised.

We survived. A super fucking huge THANK YOU to all of our visitors for coming into Raleigh to Red Dress with us! Seriously, I can't say it enough. An even bigger THANK YOU to those couple of visitors who drove and stayed sober. I know I personally appreciate your responsibility and I'm sure your fellow kennel does too. Additionally, another big THANK YOU to Last Chance of London Bridge for letting us use his establishment. Spoiler Alert, we'll be back there frequently. THANKS to Spreads and Just Adam for laying down a killer bar crawl. Finally a massively big THANK YOU to Glitterpuss and Snail Trail for helping me herd you cats. We managed to terrorize downtown Raleigh without getting anyone killed, arrested, or sent to the hospital, and without you two I'm not sure we'd of had the same outcome.

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