What:Carolin Larrikins 2nd An*l Campout: Search for the Holy Trail
In the anals of history people are going to be talking about three things: the discovery of fire, invention of the submarine, and the Carolina Larrikins Search for the Holy Trail.
I could tell you of late night arrivals, monsoon rains and midnight ice runs. I could tell you of paddle boat junkies, Winston-Salem traffic, and wet shower orgies. I could tell you of castle raves, naked trails, and patches earned. I could tell you a great many things about this weekend, but it would literally take an entire day of me banging my head against my keyboard. So instead what I'd like to do is take my normal musing space and say Thank You to those directly responsible for this weekend's greater glory.
Rusty Pole & Box Rot: If it wasn't for Rusty Pole and his high performance vehicle, we would not have had beer to drink this weekend. Rusty drove all the CBC kegs out from Raleigh, then disappeared on a midnight emergency ice run to keep the kegs cold until campers showed up. He was probably only able to do this because Box Rot also drove a separate vehicle as well. Huge Thank You to team Rusty Box!
Hilfrigger & Photo Spread: What's NOT to say about how awesome these two are. If it wasn't for Hilf and Photo, we wouldn't have had cold beer. We'd also have had to pack out our trash. They went above and beyond for us, and there really aren't any words for how much we appreciate them. Very, very glad to have them as part of our family. Huge Thanks to Hilf and Photo!
Rusty Pole & Bristles First: If it wasn't for Rusty & Bristles we would not have had our Rave Castle™. They put so much work into getting the castle set up and ready to rock your faces off. Huge Thank You to team Rusty First!
Sesame Creep, Rusty Pole, Major Tom Soiler: What's a hash campout without Trail? It's just a campout, but that's not important. What IS important, is that these guys put together a hell of a trail. Sesame spent 7 hours scouting just on Friday alone. It's always a big deal when we have people willing to sacrifice part of their campout time to provide a great experience for our attendees, and we are all really appreciate of your sacrifice. Huge Thanks to the Hares!
Gadget: Gadget set up a shot stop for us, then moved it and set it up again. She was also Old Man Glitter's personal bedside nurse, and I'm sure went well out of her way to keep his mind of his ankle. Huge Thanks to Gadget!
Dood Where's My Car: Dood didn't kill anyone this weekend. However she was the only camper to take a trenching tool and dig a 4" moat around her tent. Huge Thank You to everyone who came over and peed in her moat.
Snail Trail: Snail also didn't kill anyone this weekend. But she did help out with Registration and set up, as well as the PBR keg runs. Snail also helped pee in Dood's moat, and kept me sane all weekend. Huge Thanks to Snail Trail!
Spreads In the Sheets: Spreads should go into sales, because she sold the shit out of our Habberdashery this weekend. Spreads also put together our Shooting Star trail. She also made a ton of the signs, helped put welcome bags together, designed the Holy Trail shirts, made the toe tags, and was generally awesome. Huge Thanks to Spreads!
Jigglypoof Unicorn Smash, Poobhies & Major Tom Soiler: These three never hesitated to jump in and help out with our various Kitchens, among other things. Huge Thanks to Major Jigglypoof!
Shag-a-sore-ass: One of Shaggy's best qualities is his incredible personality, which he used to change the kegs for us. He was also generally super helpful with other random things. Huge Thanks to Shaggy!
Glitterpuss: He may have been a cripple all weekend, but Glitterpuss was far from useless. This guy helped prep most of your meals from the safety of his camp chair, as well as RA'ed circle, and helped hare Naked Trail. Most importantly, he along with Heavy Petting Zoo cleaned the bathrooms on Sunday. We should all raise our glass at this most excellent feat of strength and bravery. Glitter was also directly responsible for planning and prepping for a giant chunk of this campout.
Face Down No One To Blow: Face Down did all the things. Literally. If it wasn't for Face Down, this campout wouldn't have happened. She spearheaded all the cooking, all of the food prep, the budget, the organization, etc. She also almost burned the house down, but we'll tell that story in person. I'm fairly certain she can name her next gray hair after this campout. And in the middle of all the insanity she still found time to drink some beers, get naked and dance her face off. If you only thank one person for the fun you had this weekend, make sure it's Face Down.
Fowl R*nning Butthole: Huge thanks to FRB for presiding over the entire weekend with a good sense of humor and an answer to every question asked of him. He made sure all of the beer arrived, stayed cold, and got into your grubby hands. He was a huge help to FD in all of the planning and generally made sure everyone kept their wits about them. Thank you FRB!
Everyone: This weekend wouldn't have been anything without our amazing guests. On behalf of our Kennel, I would like to thank every single Wanker who traveled across the land to hang out with us for the weekend. It was an absolute pleasure spending time with each and every one of you, and I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat.
I hereby declare this weekend a raging success. There were so many good things about it I couldn't possibly fit them all into one email. If you missed out, I am sorry for your loss, and I encourage you to do everything in your power to be with us next year! Please join us this cumming Wednesday for our aptly named Hangover Hash, where there is a good chance you will see an encore performance of the beer and food from our fun filled weekend.
Wankers in Attendance:
21 Cum Salute
4 Score and 7 Dicks Ago
Bam-Bam She’s a Man
Bend Over For Rover
Bourbon Street Bitch
Boy Toy No Balls
Broke Back Dyke
Charlie Hardwood Whore
Chicks Won’t Stick
Cock Processing Unit
Cokeadoodle Do Me
Cunt Castle: The Shot Destroyer
Dood Where’s My Car
Dude No Insertion
Eat My Twat
Face Down No One to Blow
First Eye Blind
Fowl Running Butthole
Ham Wallet- The Screwnicorn
Heavy Petting Zoo
How much did the Holoco$t
Inspect HER Gadget
Jiggly Poof: UNICORN SMASH!
Kojak Me Off
Kung Fu Pussy Chu
Lick Her Lo Mein
Major Tom Soiler
OSAMA Bin Hashing
Puts the Tanning Lotion in the Basket
Read My Lipz
Roofies Taste Like Almonds
Shag A Sore Ass
Spreads in the Sheets
Suck That Dixie
The Final Cuntdown
Too Lazy For Condoms
Top Shelf Tuna
We Were All Semen Once