What:Larrikins June 4th Trail
Nestled in-between the shattered, fenced-off remnants of an establishment once called the Longbranch and some heavily fortified Auto Repair facility is a quiet street called Industrial Drive. A casual passer-by would steal a glace at this section of roadway and be magically transported to the siege of Leningrad, the sacking of Rome, or someplace in Detroit. But not us hashers! No, last we descended upon what can only be described as Raleigh's grundle and began meet up with beers in hand and smiles on our faces. The air was a soup of humidity from a generous thunderstorm that had passed through 2 hours prior, but the sun was out and setting so we thought we might stay dry......
In opening circle we received our first surprise of the evening, volunteer hares! Buttslapper Snapper did his hash homework and Google Scouted™ the area, and Glitterpuss was feeling squirrely so BOOM, two willing sacrifices. After a generous blessing of flour, the dynamic duo was off, and the pack had another beer. After an interesting variation on Father Abraham and feeling very silly, the pack departed and picked up trail on a Greenway.
Greenways are great for hashers, not because they're flat and paved, but because they have Muggles on them. And we like to "help" Muggles. For example, when there is a sign by a bridge that says "Dismount from bike before going under bridge", and you ride by us towards the bridge ignoring said sign, we're going to let you know :)
After our public outreach work, and a few creeks and mud puddles, we found ourselves staring at a swamp. Not just any swamp, but a wide, freshly swollen from the thunderstorm kinda swamp. "There's no way they went through there" could be heard amongst the pack, as desperate eyes combed the other directions for flour in futility. Yep, they went through there. And thus we waded, knee-deep in the putrid filth of decaying biomass, grasping at every branch and twig above water for support. 50 yards in our Diving Officers let us know the obvious; the water was getting deeper and that their vaginas were now getting wet. But on we pressed, and after considerable effort and appropriate swearing we pulled ourselves out the other side looking like we all just shit ourselves.
A strung out pack pressed on, twisting and turning down some more heavily barbed-wired streets only to stumble upon Big Boss Brewery! There was actually much rejoicing, except for the Muggles who were already there, but we continued our public outreach program and gradually secured an area outside all to ourselves.
Craft brew down the hatch and we were on-on again, this time following the trail of Sesame Creep and Scatologist. A few back alleys and deer paths later and the pack was checking on some railroad tracks. By checking, I mean we watched Bristles First check a quarter mile down the tracks, and then decided to go the other direction. But the pack was wrong! On his way back Bristles spotted wayward flour and vaulted over the bridge railing to what we assumed was his doom. Nope, not his doom, but trail! That steep embankment, some rocks, and a healthy stretch of roadway finally brought the pack to our second beer break, Biscuitville.
But Drewfus, Buiscitville doesn't serve beer nor are they open at whatever time this was. You are correct. But we had beer with us! And they graciously let us use the dark corner of their parking lot. And their hose. Which they very conveniently left attached to their building with no lock on the faucet. In the middle of our impromptu vagina washing session, another rando Muggle drove up and was all "Hey! Hashers!" then disappeared just as quickly. After the vaginas were sufficiently clean, the pack zenned around the corner back to start where we siphoned some gas and burned all our clothes.
Closing circle was short but sweet. Vagina washers were shamed, June birthdays were celebrated, and Glitter rang the doorbell. On-After saw us on the deck of the Ale House, where Charlie Hardwood Whore tried to comfort Server Lucas by inquiring on the finer points of cider, and we all loudly discussed buttsex in earshot of some poor Muggle geriatrics. They didn't stay long.
A big THANK YOU to Six-Six-Six Sign of the Yeast (Trash/Shady J), Wanker Quit Before Cumming (Shady J), and Banana Hammock (Wild Card H3) for visiting!! We really appreciate you cumming for us. Additional thanks to Bubba Gump for coming out of retirement(?) or just trying to scare that virgin you brought. Also a big THANK YOU to our hares, it was a really good trail.
Wankers on Trail:
Fowl Running Butthole
Time My Handjob
Dood Where’s My Car
Charlie Hardwood Whore
2 Lazy 4 Condoms
Cock Processing Unit
Six-Six-Six Sign of the Yeast (Trash/Shady J
Wanker Quit Before Cumming (Shady J)
Banana Hammock (Wild Card H3)
Taint My Jelly